5 Epictetus Quotes That Have Transformed The Way I Live My Life
How a Greek philosopher taught me more than any modern self-help book ever could
At the beginning of the Spring semester, I stepped into what would be my first and only college philosophy class — where I learned about a man named Epictetus for the first time.
Anyone who’s ever read about stoic philosophy or read anything from Ryan Holiday has probably heard of him.
He was a man who began as a slave and then went on to inspire people for centuries to come — including myself. For philosophy class, we read the Enchiridion of Epictetus, something I studied deeply, far beyond the requirements for the class simply because of how many intelligent and helpful things he says.
Here are a few quotes from him that have positively shaped my view of life and improved my everyday actions, thoughts, and personal philosophy for life:
“Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it.”
This quote has been written on a sticky note on my mirror since I first heard it.
So many people in our world today sit around and talk about what they believe and what they think. While there is certainly merit to that, doesn’t what a man does say so much more than what he says?
We haven’t really accepted a philosophy until we’re living it out in the circumstances of our daily life — particularly those that are difficult and give necessitation to different philosophies of life to deal with certain situations that arise.
Humans learn through habits and actions — repetition of what we’ve claimed is important to us. Until our philosophies are habitual and natural, are they really our philosophies?
“Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them.”
As a future mental health counselor/therapist, this quote speaks so much into the field I want to dedicate my life to. Healthy people can be healthy people and be themselves in every situation.
If we are able to change our perspectives, if we’re able to filter our input and the meanings we ascribe to things, we will be better off as people and able to withstand many more storms of life.
In a series of popular studies described in this Atlantic article, “Study: Fight Performance Anxiety by Getting Excited”, participants were assigned to repeat either the phrases “I am anxious” or “I am excited”.
This was to prime them before doing some sort of anxiety-inducing performance activity, such as singing karaoke or giving a public speech of some kind.
Those who did nothing or repeated the phrase “I am excited” performed at a more satisfactory and more confident level than those who said, “I am anxious”.
This led to a lot of findings by researchers that “reappraising” a situation can be incredibly powerful for lowering anxiety — as Epictetus would say, changing the view of a situation so as not to be disturbed by the events occuring outside of you.
The bottom line behind these experiments and findings is that the physiological effects of anxiety are the same as those of excitement. That means how you interpret those feelings and what script you run in your mind is entirely up to you.
How often is that true in other circumstances in our lives?
We aren’t truly disturbed by the things that happen to us or the situations we find ourselves in — but by the level of distress, we allow those things to create in our life.
“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power or our will. ”
In the film Minimalism, the writer and mindfulness proponent Sam Harris gives an incredible interview on the utility of worry and anxiety.
He describes how he was talking to a mentor of his and how the man asked him how productive his anxiety was really making him.
The crux of his point was that the things Harris was anxious about and found useful to worry about were things that were not in his control.
There are certain things we can worry about that are possible and preventable in our lives. We can save money, mend torn relationships, prepare ahead of time, keep jumper cables in our car, etc. — and all of those things, arguably, are a result of a little bit of anxiety about something that may or may not happen.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
― Ryan Holiday, The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living: Featuring new translations of Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius
However, worrying about things that are not in our sphere of influence is not only unhelpful but torture to our souls and minds. Why not use that energy to be grateful for what we have, or to work to fix what we can?
This is probably the most simple, profound, and important element of stoic philosophy.
Worry about what you can change, do what you can to change it, and let everything else fall by the wayside.
“First say to yourself what you would be, and then do what you have to do.”
“Let your actions flow out of your identity” is the thought that comes to my mind when reading this quote.
It also reminds me of something many a southern parent often said to their child when I was growing up and something I repeat with a smile now, “Remember who you are and Whose you are”.
If we know who we are at our core, our values, and the meaning of our life, then we will be much better suited for the task of living out our life in fruitful and productive action.
If you know what you want to be, who you want to confirm inside of yourself, then your actions will flow out of that.
The inverse almost never works.
I don’t want who I am and who I become to be shaped by haphazard actions I never intentionally chose. Far too many people live like that and live ugly, irrevereant, and undirected lives — and are all the unhappier as a result.
“If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.”
Sometimes the path to improving yourself as a person doesn’t make sense to other people. And that is absolutely okay. We are not supposed to live as statues of perfection and sense to those who are not on the same path that we are.
It makes me think of “The Man in the Arena” speech from Teddy Roosevelt that Brené Brown references in her book Daring Greatly.
“It is not the critic who counts […] The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” — Theodore Roosevelt
I want my place to be with the souls that knows victory and defeat well because I am striving for something important — if I appear stupid, senseless, and foolish in the process, so be it.
Other peoples opinions about who you really aren’t accurate, and really at the end of the day aren’t even helpful to pay attention to.
We’re not living our lives trying to please those people.
Prove people wrong and live your most amazing life — and be okay with looking a little stupid along the way.
Kindly, Katie
Enjoyed this article? Read more from me below!
