3 mistakes you’re making with your “I feel” statements

How a common communication technique goes south when we use it incorrectly

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Don’t forget to use ‘I’ statements!” is probably the number one phrase I’ve heard regarding communication in every domain of my life. Every job, every family science class, every article about being a better communicator.

It’s the be-all-end-all in interpersonal communication, one we often don’t use correctly.

Thomas Gordon invented the concept of “I Feel” statements while working with kids through play therapy. He wanted to help them to better communicate their feelings with one another and build rapport through sharing their emotional experiences.

“The payoff in developing the courage to approach others with I-messages is that being transparently real with team members, spouses, children and others can be the beginning of an authentic relationship–one in which both learn to be open and honest with each other.” — Linda Adams, President of the Gordon Training Institute